Elite athletes know what its like to monitored by precision instruments. A swimmer can lose a race by a hundredth of a second. A runner can be disqualified for jumping the gun by a whisper. They just can’t get away with anything. No margin for error.
I have an inner compass that sometimes feels a bit like that. When its in the Wrong Path mode is very finely callibrated. Don’t go that way. This is the wrong path for you. This doesn’t feel right. It can be difficult to make decisions when there seem to be so many no go zones. Things that seem wise and logical often fail to get past the inner compass. So much so that I sometimes I wish it would give me a break and let me get away with something even if it isn’t my “true north”.
Its seems like someone else was on duty the day the calibrated the True Path mode on my internal compass. Its much more subtle. The sign posts are not large and clear. Nothing is calling me forth with magnetic force. The True Path mode is comprised of fleeting ideas, wishful inklings, quiet yearnings and out of the blue hunches.
Fortunately both modes do have fairly good post decision feedback. If I head up the Wrong Path, I am going be feeling increasingly stressed, sick, depleted and miserable. If I am on the True Path, I feel energised, excited, content, integrated and confirmed.
Attempting to live life on the True Path, guided by intuition, is like being guided through the forest by the twitter of a little blue bird that flits in and out of sight. Don’t be fooled though. The little bird doesn’t just lead me through green meadows scattered with flowers. It wants me to go into some pretty tough places, that I wouldn’t normally consider. I want to yell “Are you kidding me?” But its already going off ahead.
So far my experiment with following this Inner Compass has confirmed that it is a more satisfying way to live. When it comes to my personal life, I have been able to let go of a lot of “shoulds” and find a more natural and rewarding path.
The challenge for me now is in relation to work. Can I trust the whispers of intuition to help me find a way to earn a living that represents the True Path? Or do I have to start getting realistic and push against my reluctance in order to get something happening? I can see why poor starving artists end up poor and starving! Following the path of intuition, life becomes more like a treasure hunt with a rough map and no guarantee that the treasure even exists.
People said I was brave to quit my job earlier in the year, but I didn’t experience it that way. Now however, six months later, the stakes are getting higher. It feels like courage is needed to stay on the path that I embarked upon. I have travelled a long way out of my comfort zone, and I may never get back to it. I really don’t know where my compass will take me.